One step at a time!

“If you can’t fly, then run, if you can’t run, then walk, if you can’t walk, then crawl, but whatever you do, you have to keep moving forward” – Martin Luther King Jr.

Yesterday we celebrated the Quinceañera of 8 of the girls who turned 15 this year and of a few of the boys that turned 18 this year.  First we attended mass and the girls and guys sat in the front in specially decorated chairs that matched their outfits.  Afterwards we celebrated in a large room where all of the kids, volunteers and helpers from NPH attended, including the director and his family.  Following this celebration we continued with the tradition of the director putting brand new shoes on each other the girls and watches on each of the boys.  Finally, there was the first dance where each girl danced with the director before dancing with the guys.  It was a very enjoyable time and I am so proud of each of them that participated.  (Some of girls are pictured above.)

I can honestly say that since I have moved from the orphanage into the city I have been a lot happier and my friend base has grow tremendously.  My neighbors have invited me over and I really enjoy spending time with them each night.  It is so nice to be in the company of such great people who want nothing more than to see you happy.  They are an older couple that has also invited me over to celebrate with them during the holiday where they plan to cook and spend time with their family.  I also finally have friends in the city that are around my age that I can hang out with and that can show me a good time.  I feel so happy and fortunate that I have been able to create these friendships.  They have all been so open and loving to me and I am just overjoyed to see where our friendships take us.

As for the tutoring program it has been going really well and I can say that I am finally starting to see progress in many of my kids.  I remember that some of my kids use to say the alphabet incorrectly so many times that I started to think it was correct!  However, after 5 months many of them have finally gotten it right.  It has surprised me so much that they remember what I have taught them and it is such a satisfaction to see their progress!

As for myself, it is almost break time for me!  I just recently celebrated my 5^th month anniversary of living in the DR, which is almost half a year!  I was not able to celebrate Thanksgiving with my family this year but it was awesome seeing the whole family surround by a delicious looking turkey on skype.  One of my really good Orientation friends, from U of M, will be coming to visit me in mid-December and this will be my first time taking vacation off.  I shall be on vacation for an entire week.  The kids also have exams starting a little bit before my vacation time and during this time my services will not be needed until January. 

In my house, Santa Clara, there have been some big changes.  We have just gotten 4 new kids to the NPH-DR program causing for changes to be made in the houses.   The director has to move different kids around in order to make space for the new kids.  Therefore, one of the oldest girls, who has lived in Santa Clara, for 6 years has been moved to the older girl house.  One of the 8 year-old girls has been moved from the younger kids house to my house so we welcome the new addition to our house and we sadly say goodbye but we are happy that one of our girls has moved up!

One thing that has been really cool is that some of the kids have really become drawn to me all of a sudden.  It amazes me because I have seen them everyday for 5 months now but suddenly they look at me as if I am a different person.  As if they have just realized that they have a profound love for me, and that I have one for them as well.  What I have realized is that we cannot expect for friendships to come over night, they take time.  It takes time to build trust, to let down one’s guard and to let others in.  This is when we become most vulnerable, and it is especially difficult for the kids, when they are so use to protecting themselves from getting hurt that it is hard for some of them to easily open up to others.  Just remember the old adage that “anything worth having is worth waiting for,” which is something that I try to remember as I immerse myself in my new community and make new friends.  Patience seems to me to be the greatest life lesson of all!

Another thing that I have learned is not to think that reaching a certain goal will make you happy but rather to be happy with what you already have.  I told myself that going to the Dominican Republic was my dream and that if I could just go there I would be the happiest girl alive; which I am.  However, even after achieving this goal I still have so much more that I want to do with my life.  I am not done yet.  Therefore, I have realized that even when we reach that something that we think we want so badly…we just end up wanting sometime else.  We are human beings and are needs are insatiable.  For that, sometimes we just need to stop and really appreciate what we have instead of always wanting more.  I am not worried about my future because I know that it will all work itself out in the end and I am just happy that I am living in another country and enjoying the experience by learning and growing each day.

I also think that we should not underestimate the profound effect that people can have in our lives.  We may immediately judge a person based on appearance or their way of being but you may never know the impact that they will have on your life.  As for me, I have done this with a few people by distancing myself from them because they were different from me; or being skeptical of them not knowing that they would serve as such an important person in my life.  Later on down the road these have been the people that have helped me the most that have supported me through the toughs of times and have had my back when no one else was there.  I know that it can be difficult not to judge others but I feel that we should just take each interaction, each acquaintance and look at it as sometime positive because we never know where that person will take us or what they will do for us later on down the road.

Time for Change!

-->

Quote of the Month: “I am only one but I am one.  I cannot do everything but I can do something.  And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do.” -Edward Everett Hale

     I have recently decided to move and I now live in the city of San Pedro de Macorís, close to the orphanage.  The move was a decision that I made to add to my experience in the Dominican.  I now still work with the orphanage as a tutor but in addition I live amongst the Dominicans and can get a different sense of the culture and it’s people.  One thing that I have noticed, which is a striking difference between Dominican culture (and in many ways different from Latin American and Caribbean culture as compared to the US) is the sharing of resources.  In the US I feel that our culture promotes one to “pull oneself up from one’s bootstraps,” and we are only really willing to share resources with family and friends.  However, here, within only a few minutes of knowing Dominicans they are more than happy to share what they have with us.  Sometimes that maybe sharing their transportation, their food, their home whatever one needs to feel comfortable.  This was something that was really shocking to me because I never expected the people to be as open as they are.  This is something I also noticed when I studied abroad in Argentina for a summer in 2007.  One day when I was sick, and could not move myself from a bench near the local bakery, many Argentineans came to my rescue.  Many of them asked my host mother and sister, whom were with me, if I were okay and if I needed anything.  The owner of the bakery also called a taxi and the taxi driver didn’t even charge us because I was so sick.  I have always loved others’ ability and willingness to help me even though they may not know me that well.

     As for the tutoring program I am learning new ways to work with my kids.  One recommendation that another friend of mine, who is apart of a near by orphanage, taught me was to “serve not help.”  In this way when I was working with the students teaching them new letters and words I often would help them more than I served them.  In this way when they had to sound out words if they got the pronunciation wrong I would tell them the correct way to pronounce the words in an instance.  However, once I learned that I should give them more opportunities and serve them in this way I saw dramatic changes.  I realized that a lot of the kids knew a lot more than I thought.  When I gave them more opportunities to sound out the words they were able to do it correctly on the second and third try.  This has been a wonderful and new break through for me that I plan on incorporating this principle in tutoring and as well as in other jobs in my life.

     Additionally, I have learned the power of communication through actions.  Sometimes we do not always have to communicate through words for people to understand us.  This is one thing that I have realized since it took me a while to understand the Dominican accent.  When I was with my favorite patient from the Haiti house, she and I were not able to communicate at all because she only speaks Creole.  However, we spent an entire hour playing cards without speaking and it was great!  We had such a great time and I didn’t even realize that I didn’t need verbal communication to have a great time with her.  There was also an American volunteer that was a volunteer over the summer.  She was barely able to form words and sentences in Spanish.  I was amazed at how close she was able to get to the girls’ of her house without being able to speak the language.  They were all so sad when she left and we begged her not to leave.  I realized then that communication through actions could be so much more powerful than spoken words.  As the old adage goes “Actions speak louder than words!”

     Another great thing that I am starting to realize is that if I have the support of my family and friends I can do anything!  As long as I have their support I feel as if no one is against me.  Even though problems arrive here that I have to get through and have to manage to overcome I feel that the help from family and friends has taken me so far.  I cannot credit my successes to myself, it must go to all of the people that have supported me and been there for me over the years.  Therefore, I feel that I can travel anywhere and live wherever I want because along as I have contact with people that love me I will be able to pull through anything!

      Finally, a good friend of mine has brought to my attention that sometimes we must go through adversity, some type of struggle or even hit rock bottom and then have patience and later we will achieve something great!  I have realized this a lot in my own life where I have taken a risk and moved outside of my comfort zone, struggled a lot and then in the end achieved something great.  An example of this is my Spanish language skills.  When I first came here I was so frustrated about my inability to communicate how I wanted to or my inability to understand others a lot of the times.  However, after having patience and taking things one day at a time I now feel I have achieved my goal of being fluent.  Now I feel absolutely comfortable expressing myself and am not afraid to talk to a single Dominican.  I am so happy now but the only thing is that we must have patience with ourselves to achieve the things that we really want in life.

A great day at NPH!

Summary of my life: “I travel a lot I hate having my life disrupted by routine” - Caskie Stinnett

     Yesterday, October 22, 2012 was my best day yet at NPH-DR.  It was such a good day that even when things went badly I still maintained my smile.  Yesterday so many good things happened starting from the fact that one of my co-workers told me that I have “saved the 8^th grade,” by individually tutoring one of her problem students.  Unfortunately, one of the 8^th grade boys cannot focus and often distracts others when he is with his classmates however, when I work with him, he is always well behaved and does the work that I assign to him.  Therefore, as a favor, my colleague asked me to work with him one-on-one so that he will not take away from the other students’ learning experience.  I did just that, and it was amazing to see him sit still and do the work that he told his teacher that he would never do because he hated the subject.  I am realizing that all he needs is a little one-on-one time and he can do anything!  Continuing on one of the girls from my house, Santa Clara, who has always been very quiet and whom I have never really heard speak, spoke yesterday!  She was asking me questions about my day and telling me about hers.  I could not believe it.  I have literally only heard her speak a few sentences since I arrived here, 4 months ago, but today we had a conversation.  Also, another girl from my house, who is always a little hard to get along with, kissed me on the cheek yesterday!  She even hugged me and sat on my lap when normally she ignores me or speaks badly about me in the house.  I was so surprised by her actions but I just took it all in and enjoyed the time that we had together.  To top it off one of the boys, from the older kid’s house, would usually calls me mean names and always makes fun of me was nice to me yesterday.  He walked up to me with a huge smile and gave me a fist pound and said “Maya ¿somos amigos, verdad?” (Maya we are friends right?).  I was so excited that I returned the fist pound and responded, “¡Claro que sí! ¡Seremos amigos para siempre!”  (Yes of course, we will be friends forever!).  I think yesterday was a good day for both the kids and for myself.  Now that I have been in the Dominican Republic for four months, to date, I think the kids are now more accustomed to me being present in their lives daily as I am with them.  I also think I am starting not to let things get to me as much as I did in the beginning.  One thing that the kids love to do is push your buttons. Thus, they tease or make fun of the volunteers but I feel that they do this out of love and wanting attention.  Now that I have learned this and other ways to relate to them, I think this maybe the reason that yesterday was such a great day!  I plan to continue going on like this so there can be more great days to come.

     The first picture on my blog is of a young boy who is my favorite kid at NPH-DR.  He and I are basically one!  It all started the first time I ever set foot in his house, Santa Lucia, which is the baby house where the youngest kids live.  No one knew me then but within 2 seconds of seeing me this adorable young boy ran up to me and grabbed my leg.  He showed me around the house even though he still does not have the sufficient vocabulary to describe everything in the house, I felt instantly welcome.  Since then when I come into his house or when I go to visit him during recess at school he always stops what he is doing yells “MAYA,” and does a waddle run over to me and jumps into my arms.  I love this little guy and he puts a smile on my face everyday.  When he first came to NPH he was very ill and malnourished; he also had trouble speaking and could not walk.  Now he has done a complete 360 and is always running and speaking to me.  His smile also lights up any room that he enters and puts mine to shame!  I love that he is such a happy kid and am always so excited to see him each day.  I always think of how fortunate I am to spend an entire year with such wonderful kid.

     One lesson that I have to continuously remember but have carried with me from college is using my resources.  I feel that often times we as human beings just want to do things ourselves or we feel that we must do things alone.  Perhaps if we ask someone to help us they will say no and we don’t want to feel that rejection leading us not to ask at all.  Or maybe we feel that we do not want to be a burden to someone else so thus we let the weight of the task fall on our shoulders.  However, I am continuing to learn that it does not have to be that way and that there are so many people around that can help us and that is what resources are for, to be used!  For example, in college, at first I was to proud to go and ask for help but then as I struggled with some courses I quickly learned that tutors, going to teacher’s office hours and asking friends for help really helped me see improvements in my grades.  As for being here, a lot of times I have struggled with some of the things the kids do or say.  However, I am learning that the tías, administration and other volunteers can be great support and really helpful in my time of need.  I guess what I am learning is not to be to proud to ask for help sometimes because I have found that others are more than willing to lend me a hand when needed.

     Finally, just through the tutoring program I have really learned how important reading really can be.  I know that the old adage states that reading is fundamental but I really never noticed that until I encountered students that struggle with reading.  I have noticed that without being able to read it really can limit one’s capacity to express one’s self.  As I talked to a good friend of mine, who is currently finishing her year of service with Teach for America, she reminded me that reading gives you the ability to connect with the world around you and without such a vital tool it limits one’s capacities.  As I work more and more with different students in the tutoring program I find that I am able to provide them with this special tool.  I do this by teaching them new words that they have never encountered before and giving them a new way to connect with the world around them.

Dominican Memories!

I am finally there :)

     After living in NPH-DR for 3 months and 2 weeks to date I have finally gotten to the point where I can say anything at any time in any place.  When I first arrived I was very nervous to speak Spanish to people that I had never met before especially because they had had a life of practice with the language and I only a few years.  Therefore, I did not speak much in the beginning, I spoke really low or fast because I had not built the confidence I needed to speak the language.  However, now I have seen tremendous growth in my language speaking ability and my nervousness when speaking has vanished.  I feel that I can finally be myself in Spanish!  My personality has always included me telling a lot of jokes and enjoying making people laugh.  During my arrival here I felt that that part was stripped away from me and I could not express the real Maya because I was unsure of myself.  Now, I definitely feel confident and I can be who I am and express all the things that I want in Spanish.  I feel that I am 90% there because I can also understand mostly anything that the natives say to me as well.  This is really great because language is such a powerful tool in communicating and expressing one’s self and when I felt that I did not have that tool it was very challenging to navigate in the Dominican Republic.  Now I feel overjoyed with my progress and am excited for each day as I grow, learn more and as my Spanish improves little by little.

     Continuing off of the fact that I feel a lot more comfortable expressing myself in Spanish, it is also great that I have become integrated in the community because now many Dominicans recognize me.  I have a favorite pizza place, traditional Dominican food store, hamburger place and post office, which I am a frequent visitor.  The workers at these places have started to recognize me and most know me by face and others by name as well.  They have become “amigos míos” (my friends) and I am always excited to greet them, as they are to greet me and me and to receive more of my business.  It is also great because they have been really helpful whenever I have needed help or was unsure about things in the city.  They are always more than willing to help me and it feels great to have older Dominican friends looking out for me.

     Finally, another lesson that I have learned from being here is not being afraid to make mistakes.  I know that this is probably a lesson that we all have learned from our parents by the age of eight but this lesson can really go along way.  I feel that it can be really hard to be bold enough to step out of your comfort zone and make mistakes.  For me, always speaking a language that is not my native tongue in a foreign country has been a challenge.  One mistake that I have made, for example, is asking someone if they were pregnant when I intended to ask them if they were embarrassed.  I used a false cognate because the words for “embarrassed” in English sounds similar to the word for “pregnant” in Spanish thus it is easy to get them confused and mixed up.  However, I love that we can all laugh about these moments and move on.  Also, these moments are what actually make me learn Spanish a lot better and a lot quicker.  I know that I don’t want to make these same mistakes over again so I am extra careful and cautious that I use the right verbs with the right conjugation so that these slip-ups don’t happen again.  I feel that when we don’t take these steps and make these mistakes we stunt our on growth.  We do not enable ourselves to learn more and to feel okay with being uncomfortable.  I feel that this lesson also parallels with my experience in the classroom when I attended the University of Michigan.  A lot of times I would raise my hand hoping that what I was saying was the right answer or that I wouldn’t ask a question that I should have already know the answer to.  I quickly learned that the moments where I made mistakes where when I learned the most in the class.  The mistakes I make in the Spanish language and in my classes at the university are the things that stick with me the most and what I have ultimately learned the most from.

School has commenced!!!

Officially a Tutor!

            School has finally begun, which means that I am finally fulfilling my role as a tutor of Mathematics and Spanish!  I work with the older students, individually, if they need additional help with math.  I also work with the younger kids on learning the Spanish alphabet, sounds and syllables.  I LOVE THE TUTORING PROGRAM and I am doing exactly what I expected and more.  I have been fortunate enough to teach the younger kids how to read, which is an inexplicable gift because reading is fundamental and will help them for the rest of their lives!  Right now the younger kids are working on the sounds and letters of the alphabet and I cannot wait until the end of this year to see their progress.  The tutoring program is wonderful because I can see daily progress in the children.  I feel that the kids, as well as myself, are growing and learning more each day.  For the kids, they are learning to read and as for myself I am learning to speak a second language fluently.  Additionally, the kids are very eager to work with me and it makes me smile when I walk into their classroom and they all jump for joy hoping that I will work with them that day.  I feel that the tutoring program is really good for the kids as well as myself because we get to have one-on-one time and I get to know a different side of the kids.

            Speaking of one-on-one time I think this is what the kids really seek, which is just a little individual attention.  What I have realized is that it can be extremely difficult when you do not get the one-on-one attention that you seek.  For example, when I was younger I received individual attention for the things that I did well.  When I performed well in school my parents would reward me for demonstrating a positive behavior.  When it was my birthday all the attention was on me and my parents focused on getting me the things I wanted that day.  The hard part for the kids here is that everyone is rewarded together and so they lack the individual attention that they seek.  For example, at the end of each month we celebrate all the kids that had a birthday in that month; we don’t celebrate the birthdays individually.  Or when the kids behave well many of them are rewarded at once instead of individually.  I am not trying to say that the kids do not receive any individual attention at all, because they definitely do, but I feel that this attention can be a reason that they misbehave sometimes because it is a way that they can stand out of the crowd.  I have started making cards for my kids when it is their birthday and just show them a little more attention on their day to make them feel more special.

            Continuing on the topic of individual attention this is one reason that I believe that the kids like to be tutored so much; it gives them individuality.  They know that for one hour they have all of my attention and they don’t have to share it with anybody else.  The other day I was astounded by the behavior of one of the girls in my house.  She normally misbehaves in our house and is always causing trouble in the school.  Sometimes she walks out of her classes and just roams around until someone finds her and takes her back to her class.  The other day, when she was roaming around, she found me in the library, where I do my tutoring.  She asked if she could sit with me for a while and I replied “yes,” since it was a free hour for me.  As I worked on lessons for my next tutoring session she sat quietly and looked through addition and subtraction flashcards, which I use for tutoring.  She sat there doing the addition and subtraction for thirty minutes QUIETLY!  She did not say a word to me, did not make any noises, all she did was sit there in silence while I worked.  I was amazed and still am!  I cannot believe that she sat there so quietly and was patient enough to work on addition and subtraction alone.  I have never seen her behave so well.  I have come to the conclusion that the kids are like different people in tutoring because they are able to receive the one-on-one attention that they deserve.

            Outside of school I have started a “Let’s get active” program.  I observed that the boys always get to play soccer, basketball, baseball and just clown around outside.  On the other hand, the girls spend too much time in the house napping, watching television or just sitting inside and not really doing much.  Since, I love to be active in every sense of the world by playing outside, working out, playing a sport or doing yoga in my spare time I have decided to bring my talents to the DR!  Therefore, every other weekend I have started initiating soccer games with the girls from my house, which they seem to enjoy a lot.  Also, whenever I am playing volleyball with the guys or playing basketball my girls have started to ask me if they can play too.  Therefore, it is as if they have become more active and engage in more sports when I am around, which is awesome.  I also have started doing Zumba with the girls’ houses.  I am going to do Zumba with each girls’ house but with one house each month.  Right now I am working with one of the girl’s houses and I can tell that they really get a kick out of it, as do I.  This is my first time doing Zumba but it is really fun and basically is like dancing really fast to up-beat music.  I am glad that I have been able to bring more activities and sports to the girls of NPH-DR, and this is only the beginning.

            Finally, I have learned a big lesson that I shall carry with me through my life.  This lesson goes far beyond my kids, my family and myself because I think it is applicable in all aspects of life when working with others.  The lesson is learning people’s stories can change your perception of them.  To demonstrate, one of my kids is always misbehaving and rarely listens to the teachers when they tell him to do things.  I was always so frustrated with him during the summer and had to talk with his tías and other volunteers about his behavior.  However, after I learned of his story and the rough things that he went through and his life I thought, “how could anyone not love this kid?”  To explain, each year we have sometime called “Visitor’s Day,” where the kid’s family can come and visit them.  For example, if they have grandparents or older siblings that are not able to care for them due to money, health or other circumstances they can come on this day and visit them.  All of the kids get all dressed up and are eager for this day so that they can see their families.  However, the kid that always frustrated me is one of the few who NEVER gets any visitors.  Thus, he misbehaves more on Visitor’s Day because he knows that no one is coming to see him.  Unfortunately, his father wants nothing to do with him and it breaks my heart.  After I found this out I changed my entire attitude towards him.  I started to hug and kiss him each day.  I also started looking forward to see him daily and was sad when I did not see him.  Now when he sees me he always runs and hugs me.  I feel as if he is apart of my family because he always seems to want to impress me and talk to me about things that are going on with him.  I just feel that his behavior has changed now that we have found one another.  I feel bad for judging him in the beginning without knowing his story.  To wrap things up I honestly feel that it is easy for us, as a people, to judge other people without even knowing them.  We judge each other based on way of dress, style of hair, the way that we act, the way that we talk but we don’t know everyone’s stories!  We don’t know why people act the way they do, dress the way they do, talk the way they do or the things they have encountered or have had to overcome in their life.  So I feel that instead of judging people from the beginning we need to take a chance to get to know them.  We never know, one day we could find a great friend in someone that we would have judged or never talked to otherwise.

Just another day with the kids